Nationals - Saturday 8th

Saturday Afternoon

After the 100m free I went and got changed, I couldn't be asked to get my other costume on so I just piled layers of clothes on top of a semi-dry swimming costume. It worked actually...

So I went back onto poolside, and almost everyone had gone. Apart from Richard and a few other team staff people. Richard tried to give me directions to the canteen - but I can't find my way round in a new place. I can't see enough to do that thank you very much. So I tried to explain that, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually Anna took me up (I was close to crying at this point) and got me some lunch (jacket potato - whoop! I love being vegan...) and then sat me down at a table full of people I barely know, in a place I don't know.

Big mistake. I started to freak out and couldn't eat. I start to cry. I know it's childish and all that - but sometimes I can't help it. I'm left alone in a freakin' huge NEW place, and I'm more than a little bit scared. What else do I do?

Eventually one of the people I was sitting with (one of the coaches) asked me what was wrong. I couldn't talk and cried more. So one of the parents of one of the swimmers told everyone (very loudly) to talk to me. Helpful right? So I start crying more, and I can't breathe anymore.

So whoever it was led me back down to poolside and sits me down - I can no longer breathe properly by now. So she gets the team manager - who, bless her soul, really is not a comforting person. She tried her best, but snapping when I can't breathe ain't gonna help. So someone else goes and gets a doctor and then I'm taken to the medical room and told to lie down.

I can't feel my fingers or my face. I panic more. I can't help it. I think I almost passed out a couple of times - but eventually Jill comes in and just talks to me, no 'stop doing that!' or 'breathe slower damnit!'. Just random ramblings. And eventually I start to breathe normally again. And I think I fell asleep for a bit...i can't remember. I only remember opening my eyes and going 'fuck! I've gotta face the whole damn team now...shit.'

They were okay with it I guess...everyone did check up on me more after that. And if I went and sat by myself with my ipod someone would instantly appear and start talking to me. All I wanted to do was sleep really, and just be alone. Impossible at Nationals.

Anyway...I had 100m breast in the afternoon (one of the last events - again) so I had plenty of time to think and do nothing. Again, I remember very little of the actual race. Only putting 100% effort in and winning the heat. I knocked 8 seconds off my entry time.

Saturday Evening

When the we finished for the day (at like, 5 ish) we headed back and had enough time to brush and dry hair before we went out to dinner at some pub down the road.

It was an okay pub actually, swimmers were paid for and it was 2 for 1 anyhow. I had the most vegan thing possible, it was mostly cheese but tasted good. Jill was telling us all about various CP championships she'd been to (with some current paralympic medalists who she used to coach). It was really interesting actually because none of us really know a lot about Jill.

We got back at just gone 10. Me and Ellie watched Vicar Of Dibley. I fell asleep half way through.

Yay! Finished typing up Saturday...now for today's training...

Friday 13th March (Training)

200m IM (25m butterfly, 25m back, 25m breast and 25m free)
200m reverse IM (25m free, 25 breast, 25m back and 25m fly)
200m breast (easy)
8 x 25m free sprints
200m breast (easy)
8 x 25m free sprints
100m back (easy)
4 x 50m free sprints
100m breast (swim down)